The Triumph of Bullshit - T.S. Eliot

Ladies, on whom my attentions have waited
If you consider my merits are small
Etiolated, alembicated,
Orotund, tasteless, fantastical,
Monotonous, crotchety, constipated,
Impotent galamatias
Affected, possibly imitated,
For Christ's sake stick it up your ass.

Ladies, who find my intentions ridiculous
Awkward, insipid and horribly gauche
Pompous, pretentious, ineptly meticulous
Dull as the heart of an unbaked brioche
Floundering versicles freely versiculous
Often attenuate, frequently crass
Attempts at emotion that turn isiculous,
For Christ's sake stick it up your ass.

Ladies who think me unduly vociferous
Amiable cabotin making a noise
That people may cry out "this stuff is too stiff for us"-
Ingenuous child with a box of new toys
Toy lions carnivorous, cannon fumiferous
Engines vaporous- all this will pass;
Quite innocent, -"he only wants to make shiver us."
For Christ's sake stick it up your ass.

And when thyself with silver foot shall pass
Among the theories scattered on the grass
Take up my good intentions with the rest
And then for Christ's sake stick them up your ass.








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A friend suggested I post this wonderful T.S. Eliot, and I must say, typing it out was an absolute delight.  I should mention that I never copy and paste poems into this blog, but rather, type each one out individually.  It gives me a great feel of the cadence of the poem, and also gives me a lot of time to think about the way I'll present the poem.

In this case, I could spend time pointing out all of the little brilliant turns of phrase employed (particularly the line "Floundering versicles freely versiculous") but I feel that would be counter to the poem's overall intent.  Eliot would probably tell me to stick it up my ass if I did take all that time to try to explain the poem.  So enjoy!