Monday, June 1, 2015

Ancient Song - Chris Hart

Clear eyes
Clear voice
His song twinkles
As he sings the sunburst
On the crest of the wave

Wandering five-fold steps
As she climbs the mountain path
Melody and trail
Go where they will
In uneven leaps
But natural

He has never spoken
She knows he loves her
Voices joined
In accord
In a chord

She looks up at the stars
Wind, song, they are the same
When they blow through the trees

Nothing ever spoken
Nothing left unsaid

This is one I've been working on for a while, readers.  I remember reading a while ago that researchers think that before speech ever developed, primitive human ancestors communicated by something more resembling song.  Like how we babble to infants, or hum absent-mindedly.  I've taken that idea and perhaps too strongly romanticized it.  I imagine a couple falling in love with one another's voices, expressing everything they see musically.  I allude to the pentatonic scale because it's probably the most intrinsic musical scale researchers have yet identified, and common to most world cultures.

I do wonder about the last two lines, as I think they come on too strong, and are perhaps even a bit preachy or heavy-handed.  I included them because I'd like feedback.  I like the idea of this poem, but I'm unsure of its execution.

1 comment:

  1. I like it just as it is, Chris. Many layered and I wanted to keep reading.